How to control your anger? | Anger Management Strategies

how to control my anger
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What does the term anger management mean?

Anger control. The aim of anger management is to lessen the physiological arousal that anger causes as well as your emotional feelings. Although you cannot change the things or people that irritate you or get rid of them, you can learn to control your reactions.

Anger management issues may develop due to stress or a triggering event. Anger management issues can be brought on by excessive stress in general, as well as by touchy subjects like money, romance, or recent or severe grief.

When you are unable to control your anger, you may say regrettable things, yell at your children, threaten coworkers, send rash emails, develop health issues, or even resort to physical violence. But not all cases of anger problems are that severe. Instead, you might waste time dwelling on upsetting events, become impatient in traffic, or complain about your job.

Keeping your cool doesn’t imply getting angry. Instead, it involves learning healthy and constructive ways to identify, manage, and express your anger. Everyone can learn how to manage their anger. There is always room for improvement, even if you believe you have your anger under control.

The nature of Anger

According to Charles Spielberger, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger, anger is “an emotional state that ranges in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage.” Similar to other emotions, anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. For example, when you get angry, your blood pressure, heart rate, and levels of the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline all increase.

Events both internal and external can trigger anger. A traffic jam, a flight cancellation, or a specific person or event could be the source of your rage, or it could be brought on by worrying or obsessing over personal issues. Angry feelings can also be brought on by memories of upsetting or traumatic experiences.

Expressing Anger

Responding violently is the automatic, natural way that anger is expressed. Anger inspires strong, frequently aggressive feelings and behaviors that enable us to fight and defend ourselves when we are attacked. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats. Therefore, some level of anger is essential for our survival.

We can’t physically lash out at every person or thing that irritates or annoys us. People deal with their angry feelings in a variety of conscious and unconscious ways. The three main strategies are calm, suppress, and express. The best way to deal with anger is to express it in a confident, non-aggressive manner. To achieve this, you must learn how to express your needs and how to meet them without hurting other people. Respecting yourself and others means being assertive without being pushy or demanding.

Anger can be suppressed, then transformed or directed. This occurs when you suppress your rage, put it out of your mind, and concentrate on the good. Your anger is to be contained or suppressed in order to channel it into more useful behavior. If your anger isn’t allowed to find an outlet outside of yourself, it could turn inward and toward you. Anger that is directed inward can result in depression or high blood pressure.

Anger that goes unspoken can lead to other issues. It can result in pathological outbursts of rage, such as passive-aggressive behavior (attacking others covertly without explaining why rather than directly) or a persistently hostile and cynical personality.

You cannot settle down internally. This means managing both your external behavior and internal reactions, slowing down your heart rate, calming yourself down, and allowing the emotions to pass.

Why Am I So Easily Angry?

There are underlying causes for our anger; if you become angry easily, it may be a sign that you are dealing with another emotion, such as fear, panic, stress, financial hardship, interpersonal conflict, or trauma recovery. Also, hormonal imbalances and mood disorders both contribute to anger.

How to control your anger


Deep breathing and calming imagery are two straightforward relaxation techniques that can be used to reduce anger. You can learn relaxation techniques from books and courses, and once you do, you can use those techniques whenever you need to. It might be a good idea for both of you to learn these strategies if you are in a relationship with a hot-tempered partner.

Explore your emotions

Sometimes it is beneficial to stop for a moment and consider any emotions that might be hiding beneath your anger. Anger frequently acts as a shield to keep out more unpleasant emotions like embarrassment, sadness, and disappointment.

For instance, if someone gives you difficult-to-hear feedback, you might lose your temper out of embarrassment. You might feel better at the moment by convincing yourself that the other person is wrong for criticizing you because it prevents you from feeling embarrassed. But recognizing underlying emotions can assist you in identifying the source of the issue. You can then decide whether to make the necessary decision.

Manage your thoughts

Your anger is fueled by angry thoughts. Such thoughts as “I can’t stand it. Your frustration will grow as you think, “This traffic jam is going to ruin everything. Reframe your thoughts when you catch yourself thinking about things that make you angry.

Stating something like, “There are millions of cars on the road every day, instead, shows that you are thinking about the facts. On occasion, there will be backups in traffic. You may feel more at ease if you keep your attention on the facts rather than making gloomy predictions or distorted exaggerations.

You might also create a mantra that you can recite to block out the negative thoughts that make you angry. Saying, “I’m OK. Remain composed,” or “Not helpful, “repeatedly can assist you in minimizing or reducing angry thoughts.

Changing your Environment

Our immediate environment can sometimes be the source of our annoyance and rage. You may feel burdened and resentful of the “trap” you seem to have fallen into as well as the individuals and things that make up that trap as a result of your problems and obligations.

Take a break for yourself. For times of the day that you are aware are particularly stressful, make sure you have some “personal time” scheduled.

One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that “nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire” for the first 15 minutes after she gets home from work. After this brief solitude, she feels better prepared to deal with her children’s demands without losing her temper.


While acting aggressively may temporarily satisfy your needs, it has long-term negative effects. Your words could ruin your relationships for good or even bring them to an end. By losing control, you put yourself under more stress, which can be harmful to your general health.

Learning more healthy coping mechanisms, like asking for assistance or speaking up in an assertive but non-aggressive way, may be helpful if you’ve been using your anger as a tool. If you require additional support, discuss your problems with anger management with your therapist.

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